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ViMy hype, not impact
In the first months of starting RainbowVI, I was constantly looking for resources and books about running a nonprofit. I bumped into Social Startup Success by Kathleen Kelly at a public library and fell in love with it.
Social Startup Success addressed many of the struggles I was facing at the time. It pointed out real-life examples and showed how those nonprofits tackled their problems and grew stronger. The book sold me a vision that I could become one of those big nonprofits, that I could grow, and that we could be fully staffed one day. I kept extending the due date to keep the book longer, or in other words, to keep my dream alive a bit longer. Then I couldn't extend the due date anymore and had to return the book to the library.
Every once in a while, I thought about the book like thinking of a safe place where my “vision” was nurtured. After a year of keeping operations alive, I wanted to buy it. I found the book on Amazon, added it to my shopping cart, and was about to pay. Then I read a book review titled "Lots of Silicon Valley Hype." Whoever left that review on Amazon must be an experienced nonprofit leader, or at least employed. They explained why some parts of the book were questionable, things I wouldn't have had the knowledge to realize. I was in complete awe seeing how naive and swept up in hype I had been.
What is this "hype" that I'm avoiding being so direct about here?
It's a vision that my nonprofit will be big, will have an office, will be staffed, and on top of that, I will be a happy, proud, wealthy Director. Yup! That's it.
Eventually, I saw that vision becoming more unreachable, and the motivation behind it became so shallow that it embarrassed me! I asked myself: what exactly is the impact I promised to bring when I started RainbowVI? Do I need to wait for stability and regular funding to make an impact? Which one comes first?
It's not easy to answer that last question. In some cases, a nonprofit is established as a division of another institution, foundation, or corporation, funding may come first to build governance, system and financial discipline, then the impact. RainbowVI is not one of those cases.
The moment of self-embarrassment freed me from seeking motivation and resources elsewhere. I planned the first pilot bootcamp overnight. It was simple and direct: I wanted to train youth and start creating resources in well-being. The plan was executed in the summer of the same year, and the rest is history. RainbowVI started collecting real track records for our youth work.
I no longer measure wins by how big RainbowVI becomes or whether I'll ever have an office with my name on the door. I measure them in the youth we've trained, the resources we've created, and the real change (at least change for RainbowVI) happening right now, not someday when the funding arrives.
The hype was a distraction, and a dangerous one. I was struggling, so I leaned on an idea that didn’t fit the work I needed to do. I’m lucky I saw its dark side and stepped away. If I hadn’t, I might never have started the real work at all.
RainbowVI is still small. But now, we know what to lean on.
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